What's in a name?
What's in a name you ask? Everything. Take a look around you and everything you see is called at least one thing. It could be one thing, and then you decide to give it a "special" name of your choosing. It seems the more something means to us, the more meaningful the special name we try to decide for it. Do you have any children? Deciding a name for a child can sometimes take the full 9 months or more to decide, and typically a lot of consideration goes into that decision making process.
People name their pets, cars, boats, firearms, swords, and countless other objects of their affection. Heck, they even give themselves an alternate name or two. An alias, pen-name, "handle", screen name, or user name. Whatever you want to call it, it's a name and you probably chose it for a reason based on certain things within your own personal reasoning.
I named my first car, "The Toy". It was an easy choice, being an '83 Toyota Celica. Currently we have two vehicles in our family. "SuzieQ", a Suzuki Grand Vitara, and "The Beast" which is a '96 LX450. It really IS a beast of a vehicle...to feed. 8 to 10 mpg around town, if you're lucky, and a 21 gallon fuel tank. Ugh.
My little pocket pistol is ElsiePea, you get one guess as to what that weapon is. My shotgun's name is Chester (the whatever it shoots molester), my .22 rifle is Mossy, my HiPoint 9c is called The Brick. Those names are fairly synonymous with their brand or how they feel.
I have new bolt gun that a little more thought went into the naming of. Her name is "Kit", short for Kitiara of the Dragonlance novels. Cold and calculating are two of the more common descriptions of the character in the novels and that is exactly what my bolt gun is. The only thing warm and fuzzy about her is the feeling you get throughout your body when you get some recoil flowing. The rest of it is all calculations to be indexed on the optics and cold blue steel. She is all business. 1700 meters of fire breathing, supersonic death.
So that brings me to me. How does one come up with a "handle" or screen name like "Claymore5150"? There's a lot that goes into that one, so kick back and relax for a few and I'll tell you all about it. We'll start things off by breaking it up into the two parts.
Claymore, by the two definitions listed, is a Scottish two handed long sword and also the name for the M18 anti personnel land mine in use by the United States military. Half of my bloodline hails from the area of Bannockburn and St. Ninians Scotland, both in the close vicinity of Stirling. This is an area steeped in the historical battles for Scot independence from England. We are talking William Wallace and Robert the Bruce kind of old. Braveheart old. Aye. My mom's parents immigrated from this area, that bloodline isn't far removed from those storied lands.
This brings me to the second part of the definition. M18 anti-personnel mine. "Front Towards Enemy". I am a former United States Army Infantryman. An 11 Bravo for life. I did other things while in the Army, but being a true blue, huah-huah, hard-core, chunky-monkey grunt came first. If you are going to be a grunt, be the best damn grunt you can be. Earn the coveted Expert Infantry Badge, if you can. This is not the easiest of challenges, as the grunt has to have all of his shit straight and eggs in the proper baskets for 3-4 days of testing. Every task has a set procedure that has to be followed by the number and there are typically about 30 to 35 tasks to be completed. To even begin EIB testing, you must shoot an Expert in rifle marksmanship, score 210 or better on the 300 point physical fitness test, and be an Expert with hand grenades. Those three things alone keep A LOT of grunts from even participating in the testing. Anyhow, you must complete your tasks and you get a grand total of 3 mistakes before you are done. We are talking probably 200 steps that have to be properly done, in order. If you "No-Go" two times at one task station, you are out of the testing. I was "blade running" meaning that I had goofed on a couple of things during the testing. I only had about three stations left and I had left my favorites for last. I was so close that I could taste it. One of the easiest was next...the Claymore mine. Deploy it, test it, and retrieve it. Simple stuff. Just like a sports team overlooking a weak team, I got complacent and completely forgot one of the steps. NO-GO and I was out of the testing.
From that moment, way back in 1993, I have used that experience with the Claymore mine to keep myself focused on a task and to try NOT to overlook the minute details of things. I got my EIB the next time around, but you can bet your ass that I did the M18 Claymore mine perfectly. I did that station first because I seem to attack things head on...Front Towards Enemy.
On to the second phase of my handle. "5150". 5150 is the California penal code for "Not in full control of faculties, a danger to himself or others". Let's face it, I was in the infantry. Most infantrymen could be considered somewhat "extreme" by civilians. We live life to the extremes, on the edge, where the fine line between huah and stupid is fuzzy, at best. Adrenaline is a major player in this, there is nothing like the feeling of adrenaline rushing through your veins. It is utterly addicting, especially for someone like me, with an addictive personality, which brings to me another part of it. Living the extremes means there's not a whole lot of middle ground. I don't know how to do anything half-assed. If I am going to do it, I go to the extreme. It's just part of my nature. Alcohol was an extreme for me. For a portion of my life, it ruled me. I really did become a danger to myself and others for a while. Not good. I beat it, though. I had help. Bringing a child into this world with a badger of a woman helps considerably. I had the right intentions, but my better half and having a little girl really put another spin on life. One in which the earth didn't revolve around me.
Secondly, 5150 is a song title, album title, and recording studio written and developed by Eddie Van Halen and Sammy Hagar during the 1985 compilation of the two at the beginning of the "Van Hagar" era of Van Halen, the band. Being a fan of both Van Halen and Sammy Hagar, it was only natural for me to gravitate to what I considered at the time to be MY super group. "5150" the song is about love and the give and take to make it all work. It's about being on one side of it, the give, and receiving nothing in return. It was a theme for me before I even began drinking...but as the years went on and the addiction caught me, I finally realized, once I was sober, that somewhere along the way the roles had reversed and I was the one taking and not giving. Instant humility is, in itself, a totally sobering concept. Embrace it, stay grounded within yourself. I keep my 5150 as a constant reminder of where I have been, as a person, a soldier, an addict, and now a clear headed father of two girls and a dedicated husband.
Now that we have the formalities out of the way, I am the Claymore5150, and to me it isn't only a "handle" that I have used since the progression of the internet, but also a constant reminder to myself to stay focused and be true to myself and my family.
